When I first started planning, I had family and friends ask constantly what they can do to help and honestly there wasn't anything I needed. Plus being the crafty perfectionist that I am, I didn't trust anyone to take on certain tasks with the fear that they would mess them up. Not only that, I like things done MY way.
1. How Much They ACTUALLY Cost
Yeah Yeah, you set a budget and think you're going to stick to it? Chances are you may be close, but expect a ton of extra costs you never even thought of. Trust me, it WILL happen. You think all of those DIY projects are saving you money? Yes, some will, but some may even end up costing more than you would have if you just purchased them yourself. And think about all that time you spent on it too. Also keep in mind that if you chose a hotel as your venue, the added hotel costs and taxes that come along with it. Not only that, but your guest list will be the majority of your cost, see #3 below.
2. People want to see photos of your dress
I understand you are just as excited as I am that I said Yes to the dress, but I don't want to show everyone from your cousins sisters boyfriends grandmothers dog my dress. I want to save the "shock factor" for my wedding day. You can show your cousins sisters boyfriends grandmothers dog my dress after I say, "I do," thank you very much.
3. Creating a Guest List I thought this would be the easiest part. You know, inviting everyone you've ever met and their plus ones and so on. Ok I kid, but you don't realize how many people "assume" they are invited to your wedding and assume they are allowed to bring their booty call from the night before. I get that you don't want to come to the wedding "alone," but what made you think you were invited in the first place? The guest list is the most important because you need to invite family and close friends. People get seriously butt hurt when they are not invited. You can't disappoint Aunt Sue, yet you also need to keep in mind that this is where the majority of your costs add up. If you have 100 guests you are inviting, think about the plus ones that go along with that and how much the per plate cost is PLUS each chair and table you need to have, PLUS drinks, PLUS extra space so that everyone can fit and that extra centerpiece you need to either buy or make to add to that extra table, oh and don't forget that extra tablecloth you will need for that extra table. Oh and we cannot forget about those extra invitations you needed to order for all those extra people. (Plus the added postage for each invite plus the postage you need to put on the return RSVP card). Yes, my friends, it adds up.. and it adds up quick.
4. People who act as if I "should" be stressed First of all, I am not one to usually stress about things. Yes little things here and there but nothing major. People are constantly asking me if I am stressed. Why the hell should I be stressed? I understand this is a wedding, but did we all forget the true meaning of "marriage?" Don't worry about me peeps. I am doing better than ever! I get to marry my best friend, someone I can count on, someone I can trust with anything. Yes I understand there are plenty of tasks I need to have accomplished for my coordinator, DJ, officiant, and I understand the timelines, but I don't need to stress as if this is a college final and that my marriage would fail if I don't complete what I needed in time. I realize not everything will go as planned and to be honest, I probably won't even realize it the day of the Wedding. Anything else that happens that day that was not supposed to I will think of as an added bonus.
5. Thinking your wedding party will know what to do It's definitely been a roller coaster planning with the wedding party. I guess I always assumed every single one of them would be just as excited as I am and want to jump on board and help plan. Not necessarily the case. Yes you will have a few who don't care as much as you do, but you may have at least one who goes above and beyond what's expected. As long as you have that one (whether it be a bridesmaid, groomsman, or your mom) that is all you need. Don't expect your bridesmaids to drop their lives for you. They won't. If they aren't doing the work for your bachelorette or bridal shower festivities, you may need to jump on board. (I did) Just expect to do things yourself.
Yeah Yeah, you set a budget and think you're going to stick to it? Chances are you may be close, but expect a ton of extra costs you never even thought of. Trust me, it WILL happen. You think all of those DIY projects are saving you money? Yes, some will, but some may even end up costing more than you would have if you just purchased them yourself. And think about all that time you spent on it too. Also keep in mind that if you chose a hotel as your venue, the added hotel costs and taxes that come along with it. Not only that, but your guest list will be the majority of your cost, see #3 below.
2. People want to see photos of your dress
I understand you are just as excited as I am that I said Yes to the dress, but I don't want to show everyone from your cousins sisters boyfriends grandmothers dog my dress. I want to save the "shock factor" for my wedding day. You can show your cousins sisters boyfriends grandmothers dog my dress after I say, "I do," thank you very much.
3. Creating a Guest List I thought this would be the easiest part. You know, inviting everyone you've ever met and their plus ones and so on. Ok I kid, but you don't realize how many people "assume" they are invited to your wedding and assume they are allowed to bring their booty call from the night before. I get that you don't want to come to the wedding "alone," but what made you think you were invited in the first place? The guest list is the most important because you need to invite family and close friends. People get seriously butt hurt when they are not invited. You can't disappoint Aunt Sue, yet you also need to keep in mind that this is where the majority of your costs add up. If you have 100 guests you are inviting, think about the plus ones that go along with that and how much the per plate cost is PLUS each chair and table you need to have, PLUS drinks, PLUS extra space so that everyone can fit and that extra centerpiece you need to either buy or make to add to that extra table, oh and don't forget that extra tablecloth you will need for that extra table. Oh and we cannot forget about those extra invitations you needed to order for all those extra people. (Plus the added postage for each invite plus the postage you need to put on the return RSVP card). Yes, my friends, it adds up.. and it adds up quick.
4. People who act as if I "should" be stressed First of all, I am not one to usually stress about things. Yes little things here and there but nothing major. People are constantly asking me if I am stressed. Why the hell should I be stressed? I understand this is a wedding, but did we all forget the true meaning of "marriage?" Don't worry about me peeps. I am doing better than ever! I get to marry my best friend, someone I can count on, someone I can trust with anything. Yes I understand there are plenty of tasks I need to have accomplished for my coordinator, DJ, officiant, and I understand the timelines, but I don't need to stress as if this is a college final and that my marriage would fail if I don't complete what I needed in time. I realize not everything will go as planned and to be honest, I probably won't even realize it the day of the Wedding. Anything else that happens that day that was not supposed to I will think of as an added bonus.
5. Thinking your wedding party will know what to do It's definitely been a roller coaster planning with the wedding party. I guess I always assumed every single one of them would be just as excited as I am and want to jump on board and help plan. Not necessarily the case. Yes you will have a few who don't care as much as you do, but you may have at least one who goes above and beyond what's expected. As long as you have that one (whether it be a bridesmaid, groomsman, or your mom) that is all you need. Don't expect your bridesmaids to drop their lives for you. They won't. If they aren't doing the work for your bachelorette or bridal shower festivities, you may need to jump on board. (I did) Just expect to do things yourself.
I completely understand that not everything will go as planned, but in the end I will still be married to my best friend and my family will still love me. So what if my dress rips or I trip over Uncle Bobs big toe, at least we will all have a story to talk about for years! To everyone out there that looks at me like I should be losing my mind,
don't. In just a few short months this will all be over, the wedding will have come and gone. I will be
happily married and laugh about anything that
wasn't 100% perfect. In fact, I look forward to the imperfections
that I know are bound to happen, at least it will give us enjoyable stories! For myself, I am focusing on planning my perfect marriage, not a perfect wedding day. (Because we all know "perfect" doesn't exist.)
Linking up for Wedding Wednesday.
